During this wintry weekend, I had little to no plans. Besides the usual tidying up the house, putting around with creative ideas and a quick stop at my nephew's birthday, I was feeling very determined to write new material for my podcast!
I decided to make plans to go write somewhere other than my dining room table.
I ventured to a little cafe that is in a movie theater. It sounds odd, but it works. A gloomy, wintery Sunday morning, I packed my laptop and determination and headed east to the cafe.
I walked in, found myself a table and busted out my laptop. I could feel the words bolting off my fingertips, ready to strike the keyboard.
The waitress approached. I knew exactly what I wanted. Coffee with cream and the frittata.
"We don't allow laptops on the weekends." - said the waitress
Confused as I looked to my left at a lone patron who was crocheting and half empty cup of coffee.
I stated I had worked in the cafe before on my laptop with no issues.
Apparently, a brunch crowd can change all the rules when it comes to technology but knitting needles are permitted. Noted.
Embarassed. I tucked away my computer and sat alone. With no armor to block my single self.
No book, no knitting needles. Just me and my coffee. 
As I waited for my frittata, the kind eldery woman crochetting struck up a conversation with me. I consider this the silver lining. If I had my head buried in my laptop, I would I have not learned all about this woman's hip replacement.
Did I write when I got home? No.

The weekend had a continuing theme pertaining to the kindess of strangers.

The pet supply company, Chewy, sent me flowers. Chewy sent Joon, my dog, a card for her birthday this month. I emailed them to thank them but also to inform them that she made her way over the rainbow and no more birthday cards need to be sent. A wonderful surprise of yellow flowers were delivered to my door. While there was no sun in sight that day, I felt the shining presence of Joon beaming out of bouquet.

Sometimes you don't need a packed schedule in order for something brillant to happen to you.

You gotta strike while the iron is hot, right? I've got a list of projects that I'm actually excited to work on! It's usually hard for me to be motivated during the cold winter months. Not this year.
As I began Project #1, I felt a wave of energy withdrawl. Oh god, am I sick?
Disappointed like a little kid who still wants to play while rubbing its tired eyes, I plopped on the couch.
 Earlier this week I had stumbled upon an Instagram post by the Sports Scientist and Triathlon Coach
 Olav Aleksander Bu who stated the importance of listening to your body during training. While I am not training for anything other than restraining from carbs. (Hello failure)
I think this advice should be applied on the regular. We, people, are always on the go, busy calendars, hustle, hustle, hustle.  My body was craving a big fat nap and bowl full of pasta. Wish granted.

I believe that not all time is wasted. As I "napped", I put on the movie, The Electrical Life of Louis Wain, a true story about an artist who painted cats. Yes, cats. Sounds like an odd concept but it was revolutionary for the late 1800s. This film was an unexpected delight about a truly innovated artist who suffered from schizophrenia. 

I don't think I've ever met an artist or creative being who has never experienced the feeling of failure or doubt in their work or themselves.
It's a battle that I believe most artists have to fight with. I do frequently. A quote from the film that happen to align with an essay I read last week by the actor, Joseph Gordan-Levitt. 

​

The essay is about creating art and not caring what others think. But why do we really create art? Who is our art for? Ourselves? Or others? I say yes to both. 
There is art that I have created that no one has ever seen. And then there is art that I create for myself, such as clothes, that everyone I pass by will see. It's for others, but solely for me.

While I was gallery hopping with some friends this weekend, I stumbled upon a plant shop with a small selection of coffee. A bag from a Chicago coffee company had created a special roast for one of my favorite Chicago music venues, The Metro. 
I feel privileged that I've seen so many great shows there. From The Rapture to Thrice to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I have been revisiting albums from the early 2000s, which was such a special time in music. I'll save that topic for another blog post.

I don't really take part in New Year's Resolutions, but I resolve to do less and absorb more art.
I'm determined this January to not hibernate. Well maybe just a little bit. 
Rather than making a checklist of projects I would like to do, I am going to focus on what others are doing.

It occured to me that in order to have inspiration one must look at their surroundings. I stumbled upon this article on LinkedIn about that very topic. It was reminder how much I enjoy surrounding myself in the works of art. From film to books to paintings, when I use to do more fashion design, I fed myself on "art" history. Not in terms of classics like the Mona Lisa but the history of those creating art, music, film, etc. 

Lately, I have felt a major change in my style and always refer to my go-to fashion sources of Harper's Bazaar and W magazines. Yet, I am left uninspired with the latest fashion trends and looks that have returned to norm core, baggy, and lack luster nineties trends. 

Therefore, I re-visited the ever-important reality show series, Rupaul's Drag Race. A new season began this month but thanks to pricey subscription on a streaming service I've never heard of before, I resorted to Paramont+ for the most recent seasons I have not watched.
The fashion on this series is giving me life and I feel impulsed to rummage through my fabric bins.

I quietly wept in darkness of a movie theater last Sunday during the viewing of EO, a live-action film about a donkey. I bottled up the rest of my tears and released them when I got home.

I was craving popcorn, a Cherry Coke and determination to get out of the house. I looked up the current listings at my local cinema and was naturally attracted to the film still with the animal on it and headed to the Sunday Matinee.

EO is a beautifully heartbreaking film from the point of view of...you guessed it...a donkey. 
In this review, Polish filmmaker Jerzy Skolimowski, hopes it sheds light on animal rights.
Which it certainly does! 
While these issues are incredibly important to bring awareness on animal welfare, it also an important tale of the strong bonds created between an animal and its owner. 
I hope it wins an Oscar for Sound Editing.
If you've ever owned a pet, be sure to bring your kleenex to this one.

Rest assure, my entire weekend was not devoted to sitting in front of a screen. I began experimenting with my new audio equipment for my podcast. There's alot to do and things to consider when prepping for new episodes. I finally figured how to run my DAW (digital audio workstation) and did some practice recordings. It's amazing how I pick up on little details when I listen to the playback.
Next resolution is to work on broading my vocab. I realize I say "diggin" way too often.
My goal is to have new episodes out next month! I'm sticking to that plan. 

I've been doing a lot of reflecting. But not looking so far back in the review mirror that I'm stuck in the past. The spring and summer of 2022 was filled with grief, stress and heaviness. 
I didn't want to do any creative projects.
I tried to push myself by continuning with projects such as my podcast,
​but it just wasn't at the level I wanted it to be. 
My mind wanted to remain thoughtless and I fed this need with binge watching The Great British Baking Show and playing the same scales on the guitar.

This continued until one thoughtless day strolling through the internew, I stumbled the
Red Hand Files, a blog by the musician, Nick Cave.
An obsession began!
Nick Cave fills his blog by responding
to fan letters that include pictures of photographs, art, poetry, etc.
It inspired me to reflect on what inspired me as an artist. Who, What, When, Why. It was the oomph that I didn't realize I was craving.
I caved into an inspiration rabbit hole.
I looked through my mounds of books.
What was I attracted to and why?
Fashion designers,
Films
Photographers,
Vintage advertising,
Poetry,
Spirituality, witchcraft, flowers, colors,
the list goes on.
​

I started from the beginning with my love of drawing. I recall being very young when I would draw for hours my favorite Disney characters which grew into a love on portraiture. 
I love the simplicity of a pencil and the sound it makes when shading on paper.

In order to really get back in the groove of things with my art, I attended a live drawing class (yes that means drawing naked people) It is hosted by a local artist that I had worked with. I enjoy surrounding myself with other artists even if I sit there in silence. It was held in an old church turned art space/aerial class space. Something out of the ordinary for sure but totally my aesthetic of taking something old and giving it new life. I'm looking forward to the next class.