 still from my video work, Dazed in a Detour I’ve been reflecting on a comment my high school photography teacher made after viewing my video project for class. "You should continue to work in film editing," he said with a sincere nod. But did eighteen-year-old me take that advice? Pfft! Yeah right. Twenty years later, I finally decided to listen. My video art/music video was selected for the second year at a local film festival. Seeing my work on a larger scale was both nerve-wracking and yet addictive. I didn't even tell friends about it, I was that nervous about displaying my work in a completely different setting. My video work has been on public display before but I think it was due to the fact that I was sitting amongst professional directors, camera crews and writers. This intimidated me because, well, I’m creating films using what’s in my back pocket: my phone. I sat nervously in the back of the dark theater, alone, waiting for my film to play. I’ve watched my video a gajillion times to the point where I couldn't look at it anymore. It felt like I was constantly staring at one of those Magic Eye posters. But when my video began, it truly felt like seeing it for the first time. I sat there in awe of my work. Heart smiling, I thought, Damn. I'm good.  still from my video work , Dazed in a Detour Music has always been the inspiration for my art. No matter what I'm making whether is be a painting, a bracelet, a dress, each project has derived from a song lyric. I can't explain the visions that come into my head while I’m listening to a certain song. All I know is that I need to translate the visuals that are conjuring up in my head as the melody plays. My experimental film, Dazed in a Detour, was inspired by the song Fake Empire by The National. The song line……. "Turn the light out, say goodnight No thinking for a little while let's not try to figure out everything at once." I visualized a dark figure sitting that appeared to be vibrating energy surrounding it. I based the video around this image.  still from my video work, Dazed in a Detour All the clips used in my video art are captured from my surroundings. You'd be surprised at what can be inspiring moments while on the most mundane routes. In order to step out of my comfort zone and get the word out more about my video art, I agreed to do a Q&A at the film festival. What was I thinking?! A Q&A? Me?!  Screenshot of IG Story shared by filmmaker Matthew Fuente James (sitting far right),-photo includes Benson Film Festival Organizer, Michael Hennings (left), Filmmaker Mishka Balilty (second left), me (yellow jacket) Shortly after the Q&A, impostor syndrome emerged.
It’s a surreal moment when you get validation and positive feedback from strangers and acquaintances. I guess that’s why I question my moments of success sometimes. Feels like a dream. A good dream. Another magic moment that happened while making the film, the musician I worked with last year just happened to put out a new album and encouraged me to use a song from it. How’s that for fate? I used the song Drifting in America by Gallery 23. Please check out more of the band’s work here. I was rejected by another festival (le sigh) but I’m waiting to hear back from one more festival. Once I hear back, I will share the full music video soon! Who knows what will come of this? All I know is that I can't just keep these beautiful images floating around in my brain all to myself. Like Bowie sings, “Don’t you wonder sometimes about Sound and Vision?” So I’m gonna translate that sound, that song, into a vision. |
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